–When the soul was satisfied, your body and mind knew it. When the soul wasn’t satisfied, you were half-souless in the constant search for your whole soul.
For a couple of years while she was in love with him, she didn’t think about being alone, even though she didn’t think she would be with him either. Now when he was gone, she got back to herself, getting to know that solitude again, so familiar and unshakable that it nearly felt as if nothing had ever happened to her since she’s been alive – all the family moments filled with joy, all the celebrations after success, the tears after failure and heart breaks. Nothing. All that was left was the single moments of going to bed and feeling the speed of life without being able to see it; knowing that she was alive, afraid of dying, struggling to live.
There was no worse feeling than the over-flowing of thoughts and emotions inside of you when everybody around was as empty and clueless as you were not. She was standing in the middle of the crowd, there was so much beauty that didn’t mean a thing. If you were as beautiful as that, was any character flaw justified? She had to get out of there, but she couldn’t bear coming back home either. So she ran away, as she ever only dreamt of. Was there anything capable of purifying the labyrinths of her mind? She didn’t want to escape life, she wanted to go deeper in it, but only in the momentary occasions of realness.
Everything happened under the rain – the tears of both sorrow and joy collided in this surreal flashback of everything that ever happened to her – it meant all, it meant nothing.